Besties

“She’s my very best friend,” my mother said. “Friends are important.”

Other than Edie, her closest friend in grade school, I’ve never known my mother to have a girlfriend, let alone a “very best” friend. She’s never been chummy with other women, a self-professed seeker of solitude. But finding a best friend in the very place I worried she would never adapt to?

Almost as startling as her disrobing in the care home parking lot after our walk down the greenbelt yesterday.

Mom’s acceptance of this new world continues to shatter my expectations. I worried she’d never join in. Last week, she led a gardening activity, helping other residents plant marigolds and marjoram. I worried she’d want to go back to Maine. Now, when I take her out to lunch, she can’t wait to return to her “house.” And her bestie.

Did you know:  Loneliness could be as dangerous to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day?

2 Replies to “Besties”

  1. When my sister and I left our parents, weeks apart, at our local Veterans Home, that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’m a strong person in the face of life’s unpleasantries, but this time the unpleasantries won, I cried in varying degrees all the way home, in between all the second guessing and guilty feelings.
    I’ve lost both parents, and I can now confidently look back with no guilt and realize that was the best, hardest decision, I’ve had a hand in making.
    My sister and I learned this new caregiver lifestyle together, visiting twice a day almost everyday, it took great focus sometimes to not be tempted by life’s fun stuff, and miss a visit, but we managed , in the 3-4 years our parents were there, we barely missed a day.
    They say life is full of regrets, it does my heart good to honestly say, when it comes to my parents,I have none.

  2. You two have been outstanding role models for me as I continue this journey with my mother. Your advice and observations make me feel like I’m not going through it alone. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Feel the same way? Got a suggestion? We'd love to hear more!